Our images of God, whether we are aware of them or not, whether they are positive or negative, create a context within which we live our lives.

Younger women are increasingly aware that their understanding of God is reshaped, refined and retouched throughout life. They often wonder why that which seemed so valid and helpful once, now seems disappointing or even, damaging.

Older women can be caught unprepared for the massive spiritual upheaval that seems inevitable around mid-life which, when understood and embraced, can lead to a whole new delight in life.

My training in Spirituality has been in Theology studies, Spiritual Direction training, Psychodramatic work, Psychosynthesis Counselling and Group facilitation training. But more importantly from being immersed in women's workshops, seminars and rituals; being with women in their often desperate search for purpose and meaning; and in being constantly supported, challenged and encouraged in my own search for spiritual integrity.

Therefore, I offer my place at Piha for women to use:

• as a retreat for time out
• as a centre for group rituals & celebrations
• as an opportunity for one to one Spiritual Direction
  
  

We were deep in conversation about spirituality at one of Te Wahi Ora’s meal times.   One of the women asked, “what is spirituality”.   And behold, we discovered we all had different definitions!

Yet, the fascinating thing was that every definition seemed to bring into focus a particular aspect that suddenly seemed too important to be left out.   Every person’s contribution enriched our understanding of ‘spirituality’.

‘Spirituality’ we agreed, “is always being aware of the presence of the Divine”.
“It’s about purpose, meaning and values,” added another (from a textbook!)
“Discovering who and what we are in relation to all other created beings”, was also offered, and on it went!   Not being limited to one definition seems a good idea to me.

Our definitions of spirituality seem to arise from our life experiences and like a thumb print there is  uniqueness and that uniqueness adds to the richness of the ‘whole’.

Also, playing with definitions leads me into another particular interest of mine, i.e. the languaging of ‘spirituality’ by women.   Women who are developing a spirituality within a church will usually have a very different language for their spiritual experiences from someone who is exploring spirituality within their psychotherapy process or from others where the Goddess is central.   But is the ‘experience’ so different?

I like to listen intently to women to hear the words that are coming from them rather than use my words and hope they mean to them what they mean to me!   And what enrichment and delight we have when we take the time to ‘flesh out’ what we mean when using a particular word.   The deeper we go into the word’s meaning the further it seems to take us into the depths and insights of spirituality.   We seem to move from head to heart and then to soul (well, I don’t know the language for it but it’s somewhere deep inside!)   Often, we end sitting in silent awe as we recognize our own deepening journey or that of the others present.

This (languaging of those deep places) is what we are increasingly aiming to do at Te Wahi Ora.   Perhaps we can share findings in this newsletter together?

I have another interest in the concept of ‘beliefs’.

Sometimes when I am trying to sound convincing I hear myself say “I believe”.   I wonder if I mean, “I think” or even “I desperately hope”!

Beliefs, according to Psychosynthesis psychology are ‘thoughts that have been given weight’.   Avatar, another psychological process, says, ‘beliefs are ideas held as true’.   And what a relief, ‘thoughts’ can always be changed!   Changing our mind is something for which we women are famous!  

Therefore, thoughts that no longer ‘fit’ can, theoretically, be ‘re-thought’.
Staying flexible in our thinking is quite an accomplishment!  

My concern is with the trouble that unconsciously held beliefs can cause.

I suppose this happens because we have so many thoughts over so many years, that it is no wonder that some thoughts that ‘we hold as true’ or to which we ‘give weight’, slip into our unconscious.   It is our behaviour or our feelings that reveal them.

This began me wondering how we women are getting on in the area of developing “beliefs”.   My mother died at 92 years of age still saying to her therapist daughter, “your father did not believe in counselling and neither do I!”   I wonder who had the belief first?   And was it a belief or a hope?

Do we women realize how invaluable it is to give ourselves time and support to examine what thoughts we are “holding as true” or what thoughts have been “given weight” in our minds.

Are we conscious of the process whereby our hopes, thoughts, doubts and fears are gradually becoming our beliefs.   Often it is our behaviour that alerts us to the presence of a belief, or of  course, to the absence of a belief which we had assumed was well and truly in place!

What “beliefs” have been established over the years, that enables a woman to relax and enjoy herself when there is still work to be done?

What “beliefs” surely, have already been formed within a woman who discovers she must undergo massive surgery, for example; or whose child, it has been found, has a long-term disability she will have to live with?

If “beliefs” are to be worth having they surely need to be able to bear the weight of our highest and our darkest of human experiences without crashing us into the many facets of despair.

Therefore, how do we live and interact with each other, so that our hopes, thoughts, doubts and fears, past and present, are processed and ‘honed’ into beliefs, so personal to us and so true for us that we experience being ‘held’ and find ourselves standing firmly on our Turangiwaiwai in confidence and inner certainty even if emotionally stressed?

Such a person, surely, would have a sense of the “presence of the Divine”; or would have the inner certainty of her “purpose, meaning and value” and would know her relationship to “all other created beings”.   In other words, she would be living spiritually!  

Easy!

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